Some Relief

As most of you all know my sister is getting married in September and has asked that my daughter be her flower girl. Great! Awesome! No problem! But, I have to purchase all of her “things”; shoes, tights, dress, etc. Well, I have been to all of the gown stores within my area and there are several issues: one) flower girl dresses only come in white or ivory; two) they do not have even a close enough match to the color my sister wants; and three) the dresses are a bit too… um… not appropriate for a 7 year old.

There is one dress that is an option that will come in the color my sister wants, but it is a junior bridesmaid dress which means my daughter will have to have it to custom fit. OK, fine, I don’t mind, but the dress is over $150.00, plus with the shoes, died to match, another $50.00, then the tights which cost nothing.

I was freaking to spend over $200.00 on an outfit my daughter will wear once! My mom offered this weekend to pay for everything Miss K would need for the wedding. Heck yea! Normally, I wouldn’t accept money like this from my mom, but knowing the amount of money I have to fork out to fly home for the wedding, I am ready to take any help possible.

Airfare: $1,408.00; Hotel: $451.82; Car: $208.00; Total: $2,067.82 - OMG! This is just to get us there; no food, no nothing while we are there. I am going nuts. I mean it would have been one thing if I had some sort of idea, but going through all of my own family issues lately, our move, dental stuff for my son, I was drained of money before she had even asked. I could have said no, but considering I haven’t been home in forever, I figured going would kill two birds with one stone.

What irritated me most of all, was NO one in my family - and I have three sisters there within the same vicinity, plus my mom - offered to let us stay with them for the measly four days we will be in town. WTF? We are the only people coming in from out-of-state, but no one offered and I’m not going to ask. That might seem stupid to not ask, but one time I did and I was given the list of reasons why I couldn’t stay, so no need to bother with that.

I am thinking of starting a fund for people to donate to so that I can get home. How terrible is that. Oh *sigh* just another one of life’s little joys!

 

New Class Underway

Well, I started a new class yesterday and with less than a year to go for the marketing degree, I am really second-guessing it all now. I am slowly (more like I AM ALREADY THERE) getting burned out on my current career path that I have been in for over ten years. I am fortunate to have both the background and experience in my career that I do, but I find absolutely no joy in anything associated with this career choice.

Yes, I have a lot of benefits with my company - working from home, extremely lax working hours, and so on, for normally a position that requires a lot of strict guidelines because of what I do. I love my company, I just want out of the job. It is because of the feelings towards what I do, that have me questioning the degree path I am on.

I usually work through the feelings and frustrations because I have a ton of time, energy, and money  invested in the degree, and lots of lost time with my kids. It is too late really for me to change my degree a whole lot and what ever I would decide, would still be in business, so it’s not like I can make a huge change and still be within a good time frame to successfully complete my degree. I’m not starting all over again.

So, really this is more of a vent to release some frustration because I know what I’ll do; I’ll keep going with this degree since I have such a little amount of time left. Then I will have a marketing degree and want out of business so bad that the bitter taste in my mouth won’t go away.

I ventured out at 18 to find the path no one else in my family took. I started off pretty good, then young and stupid, I got blinded by what I thought was love and my path skewed a bit. Well, love found and lost and two kids later - both reminding me they are the center of my world - I find myself age 34 and trying to get back on that path is frustrating to say the least.

OK, vent OFF!

 

Snowy Days are Here Again

The snow came down last night and although beautiful, I can’t look outside without being blinded by the sun bouncing off of it. Lately the weather in my neck of woods has been CRAZY. From thunderstorms with tornados one night and the next night - snow!

There are a few nice days here and there. Enough time to get everyone in love with the weather again and then this, five inches of snow, to just get us back in sick mode. Along with the few nice days we do get, wind. It is freaking windy anymore when a sunny, warm day pops up. So, I can either get rained on, blown away, or I’m freezing. What more can a gal ask for?

So, of course a snow day from school. Ah, sleeping in! Yeah! Wrong. Little pitter patter of a 7 year olds feet running across the house, jumping into bed, “Mommy, I wanna go play in the snow.” Rolling over to look at the clock, 7:00 AM glared back at me, “No, go back to bed. PLEASE!”

Haha, what was I thinking? This is a 7 year old looking at five inches of snow. Forget about winning this, just try to stay dry and avoid frostbite if at all possible. Up, dressed, and playing in the snow at 7:30 AM. Gave me a whole new perspective about cold.

Now inside, dry, and warm thankfully, time to start typing away. I am working on a new parenting blog, so trying to get content up and the looks just right. Never knew how difficult it would be to pick out colors for a blog. Worse then trying to decorate a home.

 

End of a Perfect Season

Well, my daughter’s basketball team did what Tom Brady and his Patriot’s couldn’t do, finish with a perfect season. Mind you these girls are only in 1st and 2nd grade, but still - they kicked butt!!

The girls played a total of 14 games, including the championship, and never scored under 24 points in a game. They always led their opponents by at least 10 points every time. The exception game was the championship.

All of the games were played on half court, but for the championship the girls had to play full court. Having never played full court before, they were exhausted just within the first quarter. They kept trudging along, finally winning 16 to 14. It was one of the best games either team played.

Miss K is so happy about winning and being able to sport her new gold bling around her neck. Still up in the air if she wants to play next season. I will wait and see.

 

Wedding Bells

We all know that they are not for me! One of my sisters - three years older than me - is getting married in September. After six years of dating and being engaged with her guy, they are finally tying the knot. I am happy for her. Glad that she has finally found the right guy. She asked for Miss K to be her flower girl and of course I said yes. Miss K is only concerned about eating wedding cake of course. My concern - going home.

Going home is a whole dark place that I don’t even want to think about. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but I love them from afar. That’s not right either, I shouldn’t have such anxiety about returning home, but I do. The next day that ticks off and the closer we get, the harder I am starting to take it.

There is a whole story behind ‘home sweet home’ that left me with bitterness. I grew up fine, my family was great, but once my father died of cancer when I was in high school, everything went down hill. Left at home to take care of my mom, four nephews and a niece, within two years home was no longer home, I left home at 18 and haven’t been home since.

It can really way on someone to leave at 18 and return at 34. In this long time span, I served in the Navy, married, had a family of my own, and have tried to accomplish things I don’t believe I would have had I stayed at home. Don’t get me wrong, I have stayed in touch. I fly my mom out once a year, tons of phone calls every month to mom and my sisters; we are together, just not in person, and there has been no reason to return - until now.

So, in order to celebrate the occasion and keep myself on the sanity path, I hired a personal trainer to get my butt into shape. Tuesday, Thursdays, and Saturdays, I will be working my ass, both to get into shape, but to help focus my frustrations on going home. Hopefully, this will help clear my head and let me let go of my own personal demons.

Wish me luck. I’ll need it!